Beyond Skills: Why Hardwiring is the Key to Extraordinary Teams

The Universal Pattern of Learning

Every skill we master follows the same four-stage pattern. Understanding these stages doesn't just help us learn – it helps us become better teachers and leaders. Let's break it down:

Stage 1: Unconsciously Incompetent

This is where we start: completely unaware of what we don't know. My son watching me drive from the passenger seat thinks it looks easy. Just like I once thought leadership was simply about telling people what to do. In this stage, we don't even know enough to be nervous.

What it sounds like:

• "How hard can it be?"
• "I've watched others do this plenty of times"
• "It's just common sense, right?"

Stage 2: Consciously Incompetent

‍Reality hits. For my son, it's the moment he first sits behind the wheel and realizes he needs to simultaneously:

• Watch all mirrors
• Control the pedals
• Stay in lane
• Monitor speed
• Watch for hazards
• Follow traffic rules

Suddenly, what looked simple becomes overwhelming. This is exactly how I felt in my first leadership role. The sheer number of things to track, decisions to make, and relationships to manage felt paralyzing.

‍This is where most people quit. The gap between where they are and where they need to be feels too vast. The awareness of everything they don't know becomes overwhelming.

Stage 3: Consciously Competent

‍This is the practice phase. Every action requires intense focus and deliberate thought. New drivers white-knuckle the steering wheel, mentally checking every mirror, hyper-aware of every move. New leaders similarly overthink every interaction, decision, and meeting.But here's the good news: with enough practice, patterns emerge. Confidence builds. What once required intense concentration starts to flow more naturally.

Stage 4: Unconsciously Competent

‍Finally, mastery (auto-pilot)! Experienced drivers navigate complex situations without conscious thought. Their mind is free to focus on higher-level decisions because the basics have become automatic.Great leaders reach this same state. They can seamlessly shift from strategic planning to team development to crisis management, all while making it look effortless. But remember – it only looks effortless because of the thousands of hours of practice that came before.And also remember – never stop learning. Don’t assume you’ve got it figured out. 

Breaking Through the Barrier

‍Remember that critical second stage where most people quit? Here's how to push through:

1. Normalize the Overwhelm
   
   • Recognize that feeling overwhelmed is a sign of growth
   • Understand that everyone goes through this phase
   • Use it as a signal that you're actually learning
2. Chunk It Down
   
   • Break the skill into smaller, manageable pieces
   • Focus on mastering one element at a time
   • Celebrate small wins along the way
3. Find a Guide
   
   • Learn from those who've already mastered the skill
   • Seek feedback from experienced mentors
   • Use structured learning programs to fast-track progress

The Leadership Connection

‍Leadership development follows this exact pattern. New leaders often move from:

• Thinking leadership is simple (Stage 1)
• Becoming overwhelmed by its complexity (Stage 2)
• Deliberately practicing new skills (Stage 3)
• Finally leading naturally and effectively (Stage 4)

The key is recognizing where you are in the journey and not getting discouraged in that critical second stage. Remember: feeling overwhelmed isn't a sign that you're failing – it's a sign that you're growing.

Moving Forward

‍Whether you're learning to drive, lead, or master any new skill, understanding these four stages helps you:

• Recognize where you are in the learning journey
• Stay motivated during the challenging phases
• Support others through their own development
• Build more effective learning environments

The path from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence isn't easy, but it is predictable. And with the right understanding, support, and persistence, it's absolutely achievable.

By afternoon, I discovered I had made a significant mistake. One that taught me a fundamental truth about trust in the workplace: it's not about what we do right, but about the expectations we don't even know we're failing to meet.

What Trust Really Means

At its simplest, trust is the belief that someone will meet your expectations. But here's what makes it complex: these expectations are often invisible, shaped by our natural drives and motivations that run far deeper than our conscious awareness.

When trust breaks down in professional relationships, it typically stems from misalignment in three key areas: character, competence, and compassion. Each person brings their own set of expectations to these components, often without realizing it.

The Three Components of Trust

Character: The Foundation

Character expectations form the bedrock of trust. While we often think of character as a universal standard - either someone has integrity or they don't - the reality is more nuanced. What one person considers a breach of integrity, another might view as practical flexibility. These differences in expectations about character and values can create invisible friction in teams.

Competence: Not Just About Being "Good"

Here's where expectations get particularly interesting. Consider this scenario from my own experience: I once had a team member deliver a project that met all our core requirements. They completed it ahead of schedule, hit all the major objectives, and felt proud of their work. Yet their manager was deeply disappointed. Why?

The manager had a natural drive for precision and detail. To them, competence meant thorough, meticulous work where every detail was perfect. The team member, however, was wired to prioritize speed and big-picture impact. Their definition of competence centered on rapid delivery of functional solutions.

Neither was wrong - they simply had different expectations about what "good work" meant. This misalignment eroded trust on both sides: the manager began to doubt the team member's capabilities, while the team member felt their contributions weren't valued.

Compassion: The Hidden Expectation

Remember Sarah? Her situation revealed something crucial about trust and compassion. By not asking about her weekend - something I wouldn't typically expect or need myself - I had inadvertently violated her expectation of leadership support and connection.

What makes this particularly challenging is that Sarah herself might not have consciously known she had this expectation until it went unmet. Her natural drive for social connection and personal acknowledgment meant that my standard "get down to business" approach felt like a betrayal of the supportive relationship she expected from leadership.

Building Better Trust Through Understanding

These stories highlight a crucial truth: trust isn't something that's simply earned through consistent good behavior. It's actively given when we meet others' expectations - expectations that are deeply rooted in their natural drives and motivations.

So how do we build better trust in our teams? Here are three key steps:

1. Recognize That Expectations Vary
   
   • Understand that different team members will have different expectations about what constitutes good character, competence, and compassion
   • Accept that these differences stem from natural drives, not personal shortcomings
2. Make Expectations Explicit
   
   • Create open dialogue about working preferences and expectations
   • Discuss what trust means to different team members
   • Define what success looks like from multiple perspectives
3. Adapt Your Approach
   
   • Adjust your leadership style based on individual team member needs
   • Build systems that accommodate different working styles
   • Create flexibility in how goals can be achieved

The Path Forward

‍Understanding these natural differences in trust expectations can transform how we build and maintain professional relationships. Instead of assuming everyone shares our definition of trustworthy behavior, we can create environments that acknowledge and respect different working styles and expectations.The key isn't to change who we are or force others to change - it's to understand these natural differences and build bridges across them. When we do this, we create stronger, more resilient teams where trust can flourish.

Finding Common Ground

Across the political spectrum, there's broad agreement on these fundamental principles:

• The best person for the role should get the job
• Talent and potential exist in every community
• Hiring decisions should be based on objective criteria
• Unfair advantages or disadvantages shouldn't determine outcomes
• Organizations perform better when they hire the right people

The challenge isn't in these shared values – it's in how to achieve them in practice.

The Power of Data-Driven Hiring

‍This is where the science of psychometric assessment offers a path forward. By focusing on measurable, innate attributes that predict job success, we can help organizations:

1. Define Success Objectively

‍Instead of relying on subjective impressions or traditional proxies like education and experience, we can identify the specific cognitive and behavioral traits that drive success in each role. These attributes don't care about demographics – they care about how someone is naturally wired to work.

2. Standardize Evaluation

‍When every candidate completes the same scientifically validated assessment, measuring the same job-relevant attributes, we create a level playing field. The assessment doesn't know or care about a candidate's background – it measures their innate capabilities.

3. Remove Human Bias

‍By providing objective data about job-relevant attributes, we reduce reliance on individual opinions or unconscious biases. The numbers don't play favorites – they simply show how well someone's natural drives align with role requirements.

4. Focus on Potential

‍Rather than overemphasizing past experience or credentials, attribute-based assessment helps identify candidates with high potential who might be overlooked by traditional screening methods. This naturally expands the talent pool while maintaining focus on merit.

Real Results Through Scientific Rigor

‍Our validation studies demonstrate that focusing on innate attributes leads to:

• Higher performance ratings
• Increased retention
• Greater job satisfaction
• Improved team dynamics

Importantly, these results hold true across all demographic groups because we're measuring fundamental aspects of how people are wired to work – attributes that exist independent of background or circumstance.‍

Moving Forward Together

‍Rather than debating abstract concepts or political positions, we can focus on the practical goal we all share: getting the right people into the right roles. By using objective, scientifically validated data to identify and match talent with opportunity, we create better outcomes for:

• Organizations that want high performers
• Candidates who want fair consideration
• Teams that want capable colleagues
• Leaders who want strong results

This approach transcends political debates because it focuses on what actually predicts success in the role. It's not about quotas or preferences – it's about using better tools to identify and select talent based on merit and potential.

The Path Forward

‍As we move into 2025 and beyond, organizations have an opportunity to rise above political divisions and focus on what works. By adopting scientifically validated, attribute-based assessment tools, we can:

• Make better hiring decisions
• Reduce reliance on biased processes
• Expand access to opportunity
• Drive better business results

This isn't about politics – it's about performance. It's about using the best available tools to identify and select talent based on what actually matters for success in the role.

The future of hiring isn't about picking sides in political debates. It's about leveraging science and data to make better decisions that benefit everyone involved. That's something we should all be able to get behind.